Do you ever worry that you’re “too much” for people?
A few weeks ago, I had the nerve-wracking experience of interviewing with several agencies and Universities for an year-long internship I’m completing for my Master’s degree.
I literally haven’t interviewed for a “job” or position like this since I was in my 20’s. That was a loooooong time ago, and unfortunately I have the forehead wrinkles to prove it. But I digress….
As I meditated on how I should handle the interview questions, I discovered a hidden, old fear popping up in my mind. It’s true what they say about old habits. They die hard.
I wasn’t worried they would be turned off by my weaknesses. After all, my shortcomings annoy the hell out of me too. No, I was scared they would disapprove of me because of my strengths. My light. My badassery.
I was as afraid that they would think I was too much “too.”
Too smart (or smart-assed).
Too..whatever triggers, offends, or puts off the person I’m engaging with.
And all my commitment to showing up as “my Higher Self” didn’t magically take my fear away. In fact, I realized that my 100% commitment to showing up as the biggest, boldest, most amazing me was precisely what was making me so nervous.
And I bet that’s true for you in your life too.
If you are 100% you, you open yourself up to true rejection.
Not rejection of the half-assed version of yourself you presented because you were trying to fit in or get what you want – but the real you. The one behind the mask you usually wear.
When the world says “no thank you” to that version of you – well, that hurts like a mo’fo.
But in the immortal words of Kurt Cobain…
“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.”
Being vulnerable enough to show others who you are is an outrageous act of courage. But it also allows you to find the people who like and love you for who you really are, and what you truly have to give.
It allows the Universe to put you squarely on the path of being relationships and situations that actively encourage and facilitate the manifestation of your Soul’s purpose. It allows who and what doesn’t resonate with you to leave your life – or just never enter it in the first place.
Thanks to being willing to not hide, but proudly proclaim my “too,” I landed the internship that’s perfect for me. I was reminded that miracles emerge out of relentless self-respect – love yourself first so others can too.
Give yourself radical permission to be completely “too” the way only you can be.
Your “too” is what makes you original – and what you are here to offer the world.