Ep101: Balancing Professional Performance with Your Personal Values with Melanie Shmois
Do you consider yourself a high-performer? How do you create balance in your career and your personal life? Are there aspects in your life that you wish you can have more of?
In this episode, Heather gets to talk about having balance and embracing your high-performing self with an amazing guest, Melanie Shmois. Melanie is all about helping high-performing people create a balance between their personal and professional Accomplishments. Melanie has over 20 years of experience serving clients, holds a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University, and a B.A. in Sociology from John Carroll University. Melanie is also a certified Life and Weight Coach with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo at The Life Coach School. When she’s not working, Melanie enjoys exploring her beloved hometown, Cleveland, Ohio with her cherished husband, two beautiful daughters, and two spoiled Boston Terriers.
Melanie shares her journey in her mental health profession and what made her take the next step in embracing coaching. She shares how coaching helps her in her personal development and self-exploration. Melanie will talk about embracing her intuition and how it helps in her coaching practice. She will also talk about who she serves and what being a high-performer means.
If you are a high-performing person who needs to find your “and”, not just the “or” in your life, then this episode is perfect for you!
Soul Stirring Quotes
“I think it was this part of coaching where I can be creative and I can create programs in my liking, that really spoke to me.”
“When I became a coach and entered the world of self-development, I loved every second of it.”
“I think the intuition came in when my decision-making was really poor and torturous because I’d overanalyze things.”
“My relationship with myself is to rely on intuition. It’s an exercise in trusting myself and self-love.”
“There is always usually an example of somebody that has the ‘and’, not just the ‘or’ in their life.”
“Everyone can make it work if they’re really serious and intentional about it.”
“A high performer is somebody that is on stage or is in front of an audience, and have a big responsibility for some group of individuals or themselves.”
0:26 Heather introduces an amazing coach, Melanie Shmois.
01:11 Melanie talks about how she started her role as a mental health professional and coach.
05:03 What made Melanie take the next step to become a coach.
06:34 Melanie shares how coaching helps her in her personal development and self-exploration.
08:19 Melanie talks about intuition being a vital piece of her coaching practice.
11:37 What was Melanie’s biggest shift when she embraced her intuitive side?
14:08 Melanie talks about her coaching practice, Mind Your Strength, and who she serves.
16:43 Melanie talks about her perspective of having balance and helping her clients find the A-game in all aspects of life.
18:40: How does Melanie help her high-performing clients see their “and”.
22:25 Melanie shares her thoughts on giving yourself permission to perform and also rest when needed.
23:12 What does being a high-performer mean?
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Heather Alice: Welcome to the everyday intuitive podcast. I’m your host, Heather Alice Shea intuitive life coach trainer status quo, shaker and founder of atmana coaching academy. Listen in each week to break up with your comfort zone claim your self confidence and radically embrace your role as an intuitive healer mentor and sought after coach let’s get within and get after it.
Melanie. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. I am so excited to jump into all things, your brand, mind, your strength, and talk about a subject that I am really fascinated by, which is creating, uh, harmony IMB balance between the high performing aspects of all of our lives. So welcome to the podcast.
Melanie: Thank you so happy to be here.
Heather Alice: Yeah. Okay. Another reason why I’m super excited to have you on is like me. You are a classically trained psychotherapist and mental health counselor who found her way into coaching, fell in love and decided to and decided to hang your hat year in the coaching world with us.
So I would love to just start there, if we could talk to us a little bit about, you know, your role as a helper in the helping profession and the mental health side, and also the coaching. What really inspired you to live in both of these worlds?
Melanie: Yeah. So I think it’s interesting to note that when I was younger, my dad was really into self-help.
He always had like a Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbs some sort of book on the table tapes. I remember he would come home from the library with, you know, at that time 26 weeks set tapes tapes. love it. And I was listening to them. It was a bit above my pay grade at the time, but I think it left an impression on me.
Mm. But you know, I’m in my forties and at that time, coaching really wasn’t anywhere near what it is today. Right. So when I went, you know, for school, I thought, well, what’s the closest, I think in my mind at the time, you know, so I studied psychology, sociology in college fell in love. Like I just, I couldn’t get enough philosophy.
I mean, if it was dead poet society, like I would’ve been
Heather Alice: there. Yeah. You were in .
Melanie: I love just knowing why people did what they did. And I, I was like shocked that other people didn’t wanna study it.
Heather Alice: Right. Me too. Yeah. Mm-hmm
Melanie: you know how it goes? So I, you know, I went down, I think the sociology professor really recognized that I was so passionate about it.
And she nominated me to do this three, two program where I got to start my graduate school training a year early. Wow. Papa, a undergrad, whoa, and go right into grad school, which was awesome. And, um, I went to a social work, a master’s in social work school mm-hmm and I sort of knew that the social service aspect wasn’t calling to me, I respected it, but they had an adult mental health track.
And I just, I, you know, I dove in deep, there there’s a cognitive behavioral training as part of that. And, you know, and that just took me down, you know, a mental health track. I worked at the veterans hospital for six years. Loved it. I was on a team. I really loved the team aspect, psychiatrist, psychologist, myself, nutritionist.
Heather Alice: Sure. Yeah. That’s really how people have the, in my graduate school experience too. We had integrated care and you really get to see a person thrive. Yeah. When they have all those,
Melanie: you know, helpers and I learned so much about medicine diagnosis treatment, but it was a medical model. I mean, it was still very much.
you know, treating them with medicine and, you know, and there’s lots of physical problems with, you know, patients at the time. So. mm-hmm it was a great place to train. I just didn’t see myself there long term. It was really a tough place to work.
Heather Alice: Um, yeah, I think many therapists we were just talking before we went live.
I think a lot of therapists, people who like you and me, we love helping people. We love watching people thrive and flourish and in that medical model and the mental health, it’s very hard. It’s very hard to. Feel like you’re making that impact, which is why I think so many of us are going to coaching and falling in love with coaching and, and maybe feeling like, okay, this is, it might not be my first love, but it is my home.
nice. So talk to us about how you found coaching and what really lit up for you there. And I think as we’re listening, you know, if you’re listening to this, you know, have your ears perk up around Melanie’s story. Finding coaching and really making it your own. Right? Because you could have taken this in a thousand different directions.
You’ve got a master’s degree, you know, you’ve got a certification with the life coach school you’re here in . What was it about it that really made you go, oh my gosh. Okay. This is my next step. This is my
Melanie: thing. Well, interestingly enough, one of my counseling clients told me about Brooke’s podcast. We were working on anxiety and she’s like a lot of what you’re telling me, cuz it was a very cognitive behavioral approach.
Is in this podcast and truth be told I’m dating myself. Like, I didn’t even know. I had a podcast app like downloaded on my phone already for me. Like, this is like iPhone two. And she’s like, oh yeah, you know, there’s all these self-help podcasts out there. And she, she actually put some of them in my phone and Heather, I just started listening to a couple of them and I was hooked.
I was like, whoa. Here’s all this stuff that, you know, and especially Brooke is really good at disseminating information in really bite size form mm-hmm and I just, and her podcast and other people’s podcasts, I just was like, oh, and I think that brought up the childhood, Tony Robbins, like that kind of came surging back.
Nice. And I think it was this part where I can be creative. Like I can create programs in my liking mm-hmm , you know, the lack of regulation, you know, really spoke to me. I was scared of it at first and uncomfortable mm-hmm , but I was seeing all these cool programs that other coaches were running and I was signing up for everything and anything at the time.
Heather Alice: Yeah. You had said something before we went live about the difference in your experience as a counselor versus as a coach and how you love to learn. You’re more. And I experienced this in grad school too. Like I don’t wanna crack another psychology book ever. It was so hard to get through graduate school that you’re kind of like, Ugh.
Whereas as a coach, it’s almost like your personal development and your own journey of self exploration and Ascension. Is a part of your practice. And I really loved when you said that you’re like, actually now I continue to grow every single day. Right. So can you speak to that?
Melanie: Yeah, I think what I was saying to you is that.
Because of graduate training was so hard and I just sort of like, I arrived and I really stopped truth. Be told learning, you know, I would go to my yearly CEU trainings, but I wasn’t passionate about them. I was just kind of going to check off the boxes. And when I became a coach and entered the world of self development you’re right.
It was like my own personal self discovery. I loved every second of it. I still do. I’m like knee deep in it. mm-hmm, signing up for courses. I feel like a student again. Yeah.
Heather Alice: What a gift.
Melanie: It really. And I was, you know, using myself as the student and
Heather Alice: mm-hmm yeah. That childlike energy of the Wayne Dyer and your original love of it.
Right. Kind of feeds you. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So I wanna ask you two questions. I’m so excited to hear you speak on the first is how you see intuition, helping your clients. You know, when we met. You are as accomplished as any professional woman I’ve ever met in my life. Right. You’ve got a thriving practice.
We’re gonna dive into that here in just a minute, the type of work you do, which I think is so cool. I loved your approach. It’s really, really beautiful. But how do you see from your perspective, you’ve done the C B T you’ve done the therapy. You’ve been coaching forever. How do you see intuition as a vital piece of that?
You know, it’s cuz I. Many of us know that it’s the thing we kind of understand and intuitively get that this is a really powerful skill. Yeah, but what I’ve noticed is in people who don’t have the background, maybe they’re not, you know, classically trained or they know that it’s the truth, but they have a hard time believing it because they feel like because they don’t have the degrees or maybe they don’t have the certification or they don’t have quote unquote formal experience doing it.
It’s hard for them to trust it. Yeah. So does that make sense? So to hear from you, someone who does have all of that stuff, all of those boxes checks, what for you was really making you go, oh my gosh, I want to study the intuitive life coaching piece of
Melanie: this. Yeah. I mean, I knew that there was something deeper than the mind like that there was more transformation than just the mindset piece.
and I saw these spiritual based coaches out there and I was like, kind of peeking over the fence. Like, what are they doing over there? that’ll be like, they’re having fun over there. What is going on? And I think you had mentioned this at one time. Even my graduate instructor was like, when in doubt, you know, just trust your gut, your intuition.
However, he said it mm-hmm . I was like, wait a second, but we’re not even learning about that. What’s up with that. So I knew that there was something to it. I was kind of scared to open that door myself and quite honest, you know, this fact that you had the mental health background mm-hmm and you were teaching on Atmana
was like, oh, it sort of like gave me permission to walk through that door.
Heather Alice: Mm yeah. Wow. Feeling grounded in it. Right? Yeah. Feeling grounded
Melanie: in it. Mm-hmm and I think myself and a lot of my clients there’s a lot of over analysis. I think the intuition came in were, I felt like I wasn’t, my decision making was really poor and torturous because I’d overanalyze things.
I’d go to my mind to make the decision. Pros and cons list comparing just really overanalyzing. Whereas I knew that my intuition was speaking, but I just wasn’t listening. I didn’t know how to listen or access it. I knew it was there. Yeah. That’s so, so powerful. It’s built an app on my phone. I didn’t really know how to use
Heather Alice: it.
we downloaded some intuitive software for you, Melanie
Melanie: that’s right. And I’m like, well, dang, I, people are talking about this. How do I access it? Because I was so heavy in the mental, the, the cognitive side, the cognitive side.
Heather Alice: Yeah, which is powerful. We’re big here, you know, I know you know this, but it’s, I totally believe in that cognitive model, I just don’t think we should lead with it.
Right. I think that for us to let the heart and the wisdom that we have inside of us, that’s really what we should be going to first and letting set the tone. And then we bring in that the mind piece, right? Yeah. Yeah. So what is your biggest shift? Do you feel that you have now that you are sort of going.
I jumped over the fence. I’m hanging out with all these spiritual people on the other side, having a good time. What has changed for you in your coaching practice and in your work, maybe it’s you see client shifts or maybe shifts for you now that you have given yourself that permission to embrace your intuitive side?
Melanie: I think it’s opened up a channel of creativity that I did not play in ever, because I was just so. Linear in my focus. I think it’s deepened my relationship with myself Hmm. Is to rely on your intuition, you know, it’s, to me an exercise in trusting yourself and self love. I think a lot of self love has come through.
I’m not externally, always kind of seeking the answer would be for my husband or from a, you know, trusted colleague or friend. And. I don’t know. I just it’s like it’s so it almost has me tear up a little bit. It’s so powerful and kind of fun and mysterious and it doesn’t always have to be, so yeah. Panned out and structured and I’m like playing a little bit, which is fun.
Heather Alice: Yeah. The word that comes to me as you’re speaking is joyful.
Heather Alice: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. To hear you say that it’s like, you’re more with yourself. I’m more with myself today and I’m more joyful and that’s something we cannot think our way into. No, we can’t think our way into that. No matter how hard we try the mine just doesn’t have the power.
To give that to us. It’s like asking water to be dry. It can’t it’s water it’s point is to be the opposite of dry. Right. So I love that. So beautiful. And I feel the same way with it too, you know, it’s I think we do have this tendency to overcomplicate, to overanalyze to try to find the quote unquote right answer, or to quote unquote, fix it.
We need to fix it. Right. Whereas when you step into the work. For our, you know, whether it’s on yourself or if you’re doing work as a coach with other people, I think the approach, the intuitive side gives us is we don’t have to fix it. We don’t even have to understand it, but what we need to do is accept and embrace and know that it’s okay.
Right. All things are, you know, in the end, really, not that scary when we approach it with the heart. So that’s cool. So I wanna dig into your coaching practice really quick. Okay. And so your coaching practice is called mind, your strength and you work with high performing individuals. So these are people, I think you also have athletes for clients.
Melanie: Yeah. I usually say it’s, this is an individual that has like an, a game, whether they’re a CEO, they’re an athlete. Like there’s some big piece that takes up their focus and their energy. That they’re known for mm-hmm so I do get the athletes, CEOs C-suite level executives. Mm-hmm , you know, someone that has something big going on.
Heather Alice: Yeah. So your jam is looking at these very high performing individuals and saying let’s create harmony and balance. In your life. But what I think is so interesting and I want you to speak to this part of it. Oftentimes I think in our, the spiritual community, we see a person who is in that a game level.
C-suite a games, you know, they’re killing it, they’re crushing it. They’re firing on all cylinders. And we look at those people and we go, gosh, you work too much. Or your life side of balance, or you don’t spend enough time with your family. Ooh, you need to be in flow. You need to be in alignment. And I almost feel like I’ve always felt very judged by that because I am one of those people that’s like, uh, man does take up the majority of my time.
You know, my child is 17. So I’ve always felt really judged. Like actually, you know what, I’m right where I need to be. You know, there are things I need to work on too. So your perspective really fascinates me because what you say, so my takeaway, and you can speak to this, what you say. I actually want to help you function at that a level in all areas of your life.
I want you to feel like right, that your a game is all areas not, oh my God, you’re overemphasizing this one area. That is your a game. Let’s take some energy off that a game and let’s put it. You’re saying no, no, no. Let’s look at the whole of your life. And make you an, a player in all, all areas. So how did you, which is very different?
That’s a totally different way to have this conversation. So can you speak to that and what you notice? Cuz I think a lot of people listening here are very ambitious people with big dreams, big goals, right? We all are big dreamers visionaries. We want to see ourselves and feel ourselves in that role. And I think a big reason why we don’t is because we feel like we’re going to be quote unquote out of balance.
Not giving our family something. So can you kind of speak to that and how you see that and how you help your clients find that a game in all aspects
Melanie: of their life? Yeah. So what I found was, first of all, helping people make sure they’re in their zone Ingen and most of my clients are like, you know, like you with like, we’re so passionate about it, that it doesn’t even sometimes feel like work necessarily right.
A nine, 10 hours it’s okay. Because we’re so passionate about it. and respecting that, honoring that, and then saying, Hey, I also wanna call in a relationship that feels really good to me, for example, or I have a couple clients that are like movie execs and, you know, but they wanna have a partner mm-hmm doesn’t mean they have to give up the movie career or whatever.
Right. And listen, I’ve even, you know, I shouldn’t say tried, but even if I tried, they wouldn’t do it or they wouldn’t be able to walk away from it or even pull it down a notch. So how can we do and not, or,
Heather Alice: but that’s the thing that’s so cool that you’re hitting on because I think many of us, we don’t understand that that is what we’re trying to do.
We’re saying. It’s almost like, okay, there’s only 100, it pegs at 100. And if I wanna have that relationship that I wanna call in, then movie executive me has to go down to 80. So I think we tend to look at life that way. Whereas what you’re saying is no, let’s find that and understand that it is about that.
We don’t have to, I guess maybe for lack of a better word settle. Would that be how we would say it? That we can continue to be in that space. So what are some of the strategies that you use to help people do that? You know, how would you begin working with a person who’s like crushing it in my career, but haven’t been on a date and eight months or , you know?
Yeah. Or I, or I can’t get back to the gym. Right. I need to take care of my physical health. Right. That’s a real common one. Totally. So how do you begin helping them see the.
Melanie: Yeah, I think, you know, like most powerful coaching, it’s asking some really powerful questions. Oftentimes I have them find somebody that has both cuz they’re in their industry and they’re like, oh yeah.
Hey, this director that I really respect also has a really healthy, loving partner and kinda looking like, okay, there is always, usually an example of somebody that has the, and not just the, or in their life. And if not, we talk about. How that could look and feel. And so that’s always a really powerful piece.
And sometimes we do talk about, you know, just prioritizing and making some time for online dating or being that energetic match for the person that they’re trying to call in. And sometimes that is, you know, truth. Be told, stepping back a little bit from the laptop or the performance. But, you know, really making room and prioritizing what they’re trying to call in.
Heather Alice: Yeah. And I think one of the unique opportunities that we have today is that it’s about doing different. Yeah. But still. Understanding that we can do differently. Right? You can still be a good mother. You can still be a great friend, a great daughter, all of these things by finding that and right. And realizing that we’re gonna rearrange things, but that we can do it in a way that still lets us stay on top of our a game.
Melanie: Yeah. Yeah. And I remember feeling that way, cuz I used to work when I was still at the veteran’s hospital and had my kids. I was in that mix of, I worked part-time so I was kind of in the middle, like the stay at home moms, you know, had certain judgments about the working moms and the working moms had the judgment about and I’m there in the middle, like, well I work sometimes and I’m also home and, but you know, everyone can make it work if they’re really serious about it.
And intentional, I think the intentionality is a big piece too.
Heather Alice: Yeah, I think so as well, it’s about, you know, understanding what it is you truly want. And another thing that’s coming up for me as we’re talking about this is I think oftentimes we compare what we’re working on at this particular moment with another person’s.
The thing they’ve mastered, right? Oh yeah. So in the coaching industry, right. If you’re a new coach or, you know, you’ve been in business for a year or two, the easiest thing in the world is to sit back and compare yourself to somebody who’s been in business for 10 years and wonder why your business isn’t there or why you’re, you know, whatever it is that you’re working on, isn’t where you want it to be in this particular area right.
Of your life. And what I think is really neat about your approach is that it pulls back. The lens and lets us see the whole person.
Melanie: Yes. You know, so
Heather Alice: we’re more than just a mom or a director or a coach or a, a person with a corporate career or whatever. Right. We’re more than just this one silo. Yes. So, you know, there are areas of my life that I am not.
Firing on all. I’m not right like that. I still struggle. Sure. Now, if you look at M it’s like, okay, this is clearly, we’re doing really well there, but I like this idea that you’re saying that it really is about giving ourselves permission to see ourselves and our fullness to let our heart lead. And then easefully find a way to envision, like I loved how you said, just ask really great questions to see what that’s would feel.
Okay. What would it be like? Right.
Melanie: And then see what comes up. Yeah. And really scripting it. Mm-hmm to see mm-hmm cause I don’t know anyone that has the exact, you know, complete balance. If we would look at the life wheel at all times, you know, I mean, that’s almost just looking at perfectionism then and yeah.
I think it’s a unique approach cuz I just think some people, you know, do are able to go at fast pace a lot of the times and it’s okay. Yeah, I love that. That
Heather Alice: that’s okay. Yeah. That we can give ourselves permission to do that. And also rest when we rest, when we need to. Right.
Melanie: And for sure, I’m still having those discussions to remind my high performers to be present and, you know, in the moment and you know, that does come up quite a bit as well.
Heather Alice: Let’s define high performer. How would you define high performer?
Melanie: That’s a great question. Yeah, I think it’s kind of what I said in the beginning. Somebody that is on stage or is in front of an audience and, you know, they do have a big responsibility for some mm-hmm group of individuals or themselves.
If they’re a personal athlete,
Heather Alice: you know, and they’re performing for at a high level. Yeah, I love that. So responsibility then we’re possessing responsibility. So guess what if you’re a mother of one human you’re a high performer. Exactly. I mean, if that’s every mom on the planet. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Heather Alice: really cool. I love that. I love that. Well, tell us a little bit more about how we can find you online. I would really encourage each of you to check out Melanie’s work. She’s also an op Monica coach. So we are privileged. And to have you Melanie, in our ranks, I just think what you’re offering people is brilliant and it is just such a perfect creative mix between the best of what the healing art of mental health and coaching has to offer.
So tell us where we can find you.
Melanie: Yeah, I’m so happy to be part of The Atmana family. So my website is just my first and last name. So Melanieschmois.com. Okay. On Instagram and Facebook, it’s under my business name, which is mind your strength. Mm-hmm and on Instagram, for whatever reason, I couldn’t spell it all out.
So it’s mind then you are strength.
Heather Alice: Okay, great. And we will put links to your website in the show notes. So if you guys wanna check that out, you. And then also, I think you have an emotional intelligence, uh, little freebie there on your website. So if you guys are interested in checking that out, please head over to Melanie’s website, any final words, Melanie.
Melanie: Yeah. And you know, if you join my newsletter, I send out weekly, I call it emotional core strength, tips, you know, kind of helping people develop their emotional core strength to compliment, you know, the physical strength that they might possess. So, yeah, in there it’d be fun. Easy to read tips.
Heather Alice: Awesome. Cool.
Thanks for being on the show, Melanie. You’re welcome. Thank you. That is a wrap for today’s show. Thank you from the bottom of my feels for showing up today in your power and in your willingness to let your intuitive self lead. And if you are still working your way to your first 50 to 100 K in your coaching practice, I have two incredible free resources to help you fast pass.
This process, the first is to join our free and fun Facebook group. The atmana intuitive coach collective, where myself and our atmana instructors do free trainings every week to help you turn your obstacles into opportunities with each and every step you take so that you can begin to achieve success on your own terms, and finally make the money that you know, you deserve.
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