Ep118: Letting Go of What You’ve Spiritually Outgrown

Sep 20, 2022

“If we’re already over it, why are we still holding onto it?”

Get ready to dive into this Everyday Intuitive episode, sisters and sirs, for Heather will be talking about letting go of what you have spiritually outgrown. In this episode, Heather shares not only personal stories but also tips on how to finally break from what you’re holding onto and release what no longer supports your soul’s growth and evolution.

Surely your mind is now rummaging through your life memoirs, journey to finding your higher self, past traumas, and transformative experiences that allowed you to move past those blocks to discover the new and better you. Hold on to these insights and reflect on them as you listen in. Remember to keep in touch and consider Heather’s challenge by the end of this episode.

Have a great time!

Soul Stirring Quotes:

“If we’re already over it, why are we still holding onto it?”

“We’re actually pretty good at failing. We’re actually really good at messing things up and starting and trying over and over again. I think human beings really do that well.”

“Letting go of what we have outgrown spiritually is probably one of the most undersung skills that we have on our path of ascension, whether that is ascension in your relationship, whether it is ascension in your career, in your coaching practice, in just in your own soul’s evolution.”

“If we’re gonna let go of the things we’ve outgrown, we have to learn to see growth as not abandonment.”

“You might be in a different place, but it doesn’t mean you’re a completely different person.”

“Anytime we let go of something and we create space for new in our life, we’re afraid of what that new is going to hold.”

“We need to replace that fear of the unknown with curiosity and excitement about what is to come.”

“It’s really about replacing the fear of being wrong with permission to make mistakes, permission to change our minds, permission to just experience new things.”

“Because when you know better, you’re responsible for doing better.”

Episode Timecodes:

  • 00:28 Welcome to episode 118
  • 02:31 The undersung skill
  • 03:36 A story from Heather’s journey to seven figures
  • 05:41 A childhood story from Heather
  • 09:39 Why it’s hard to overcome blocks
  • 11:32 The first mindset shift to let go of what you’ve spiritually outgrown
  • 14:15 Tips for letting go of what you have spiritually outgrown
  • 14:27 Tip #1
  • 15:49 Tip #2
  • 16:36 Tip #3
  • 17:41 Tip #4
  • 19:15 Tip #5
  • 23:15 Wrapping up

Links Mentioned:

Connect with Heather

Email: hello@heatheraliceshea.com

Timezone: America/New_York

Website: heatheraliceshea.com


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Episode Transcript:

Heather Alice: Today, we’re talking about ways that we can let go of what we have spiritually outgrown. So I’m gonna tell you a quick story on what inspired me to do an episode of the show about this, and then of course, leave you with some actionables on how you can begin to release what no longer supports your growth and evolution.

And we’ll also talk a little bit about, why we don’t let go of what we’ve spiritually outgrown. If we’re already over it, why are we still holding onto it? So, what inspired me to do this episode was a conversation I had with one of my many business coaches that I work with to grow Atmana. So, for just a crash course in context, to understand like why this particular coaching session really took me to my knees. I mean, I was like basically a 12 year old little girl throughout this entire session. You know, nothing really forces you, I suppose, or pushes you out of your comfort zone to really look at what is no longer serving you like success. And, you know, I think that the vast majority of us are consciously aware of that we are afraid of failure, but what I would say is the fear of success and the fear of really claiming and stepping into your purpose, stepping into your soul’s work, your Dharma, your mission, is far more terrifying and far more challenging in terms of letting go of the bullshit than failure will ever be.
Actually, if you really stop and think about it. You know, we’re actually pretty good at failing. We’re actually really good at messing things up and starting and trying over and over again. I think human beings really do that well. We have a lot of practice with it. What is really, I think the challenge is embracing success and that is what I wanna talk to you about today.
So, letting go of what we have outgrown spiritually is probably one of the most undersung skills that we have on our path of ascension, whether that is ascension in your relationship, whether it is ascension in your career, in your coaching practice, in just in your own soul’s evolution. It doesn’t matter. Learning to identify and look at what was once a strength, what was once something that helped us crawl out of the pit of pain, and moved us closer to our purpose, to be able to look at that through the lens of today and see that it is no longer serving us. And that is actually become a hindrance is one of the most, man, I guess I will say painful things that we can learn how to do because letting go of what we have spiritually outgrown is basically asking us to throw away something, or it feels like you’re throwing away the very thing that once upon a time saved you. So I had this coaching call with one of my coaches. And I was, you know, talking about sort of the synopsis of Atmana.
You know, we cleared seven figures last year. I have built literally from nothing ground up to, you know, in coaching, intuitive coaching session, after intuitive coaching session, you know, built this company from nothing, doing intuitive work, which I think is a pretty profound feat considering, you know, the environment that we are in. It’s not like we live in a world that values spiritual connection and owning one’s truth at all costs. Right?
As a matter of fact, the entire world we live in is engineered to help us not do that thing right? To give our attention and our authority and the command that we have over our own lives, our own power away to other people who would like to commandeer our time, attention, energy, money. Right? So, it’s quite something I think to, as an intuitive coach to say yes. I’m one to even claim to do the work, but two to build it, you know, to what Atmana is today.
And so, I was having this call with her. I was just really feeling like super stuck, like just like very much in my knowing that I was my own block, that there’s really nothing wrong with the business, from a sales perspective, from a marketing perspective, from a client success per like everything is firing on all cylinders is fine. But I was just waking up and realizing like, I’m the problem. Like, I am blocking my own success. And so, I was on the call with this coach and she was saying, tell me why you can’t, you don’t believe you can take this company to multiple seven. You know why you can’t do multiple seven figures?
And, you know, I was just completely like, I don’t know why I can’t, I just don’t feel like I can. I don’t feel like I have the ability to do it. And she goes, well, tell me where that comes from. Like what are you going to be betraying or violating in your life by doing so. Let’s pretend that you did crack, you know, multiple seven figures.
What would that be betraying? What would that be violating? What tribal law would be broken? And the minute she said that, I saw myself as this little 12 year old girl. I’d literally get emotional, just thinking about it, taking care of my dad. So, you know, I grew up in the country really, you know, we had a very meager existence and my dad worked in a steel mill and he was a diabetic.
And so he’d always have to walk around, you know, he’d always have to have steel toed and steel shoes on. He’d have to have like steel inserts, because he didn’t have a lot of feeling in his feet. And so if he stepped on something, he wouldn’t feel it. Right? So he had to have these, you know, his special shoes on.
So this one time, I mean, he had this happen actually several times because he was hardheaded and did not like wearing this steel sold bottom in his shoe. He stepped on a nail and this nail had gone through his big toe. And, he didn’t feel it for hours. And so, yeah, like you could imagine that toe was pretty much mince me and he had to have that toe amputated actually.
And so I was always the person in the family that worked on my dad’s feet. I mean, it was unbelievable, like just, if you are familiar with diabetes and the neuropathy, it puts into your hands and your feet. It’s pretty crazy. So, he had his big toe amputated and because of that, it shifted the weight on his foot and he had to have another bone in his foot removed.
And I was like, massaging his feet, just trying to help him. I was 12 years old and I noticed that the stitches in this, cut like where they had done the surgery on his foot was cutting into his foot. And I said, daddy, you’ve gotta get these stitches out because it is creating another sore. Now with diabetics, when you get a wound on your feet, it will last for months.
They don’t heal. Right? So this is a big deal. It’s not just like a little cut, like this could. I mean, ultimately how my father actually died was he stepped on another nail and 10 months later, he passed away because of the infection and, you know, he’d lost his mobility. So, when I tell you, this is like, ultimately, what ended my dad’s life at 62, like it’s a big deal, right? So, I said, dad, you know, you gotta get these stitches out because it’s causing another cut. And he said, well, baby, I don’t, I can’t. ‘Cause workers comp won’t pay for me to go out of pocket. And I don’t have an appointment for another two and a half weeks and I can’t pay out of pocket. I have to wait two and a half weeks. I said, dad, if you wait two and a half weeks, your foot, you are gonna be in the hospital again. You cannot wait. You cannot wait. You have got to go right now and get this out. And he looked at me and he said, well, will you take him out? You take ’em out then. And I was like, what? Like you want me to take, you want me to take it out?
And he’s like, yeah, go get some scissors and some betadine I’ll show you how to do it. And I mean, I was mortified, absolutely terrified. But I was like, I somebody’s gotta do it. So I guess that person is me. So, you know, I did it. I was absolutely terrified I was gonna hurt him. You know, just feeling like the weight of helping my father when he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t take the stitches out himself.
We didn’t have the money for him to do it. You know, so with shaky hands, I drenched his foot in betadine and we cut out the stitches and it was great. Everything was fine from there. He got better. But in this coaching call with, my coach, I was transported back to that little girl. And I could see myself on floor of my living room, cutting out stitches outta my dad’s foot.
And in that moment, I wasn’t aware that what the programming I got in that moment as I was cutting this out is it was an unconscious program that I had picked up, which was, I’m gonna save you. I’m gonna save all of you. I am going to make it outta here one day. And I’m gonna be so successful and I’m never gonna have anybody in my family ever have this again. It was almost like if you’ve seen the movie “Gone with the Wind” with Scarlet O’Hara how she’s like eating the turnips out of the garden.
She’s like, oh, I’ll never go hungry again, me nor none of my folk, you know? So, it was kind of one of those moments, like I’m gonna, I’m gonna beat this, you know? And so I told her this story. I told my coach this story. And she said, so why can’t you go become if you’re saying that you want to save them? If you’re saying that you see this as a way to do it, why are you blocking yourself?
And I said, because I can’t leave them behind. I was scared to do the very thing that I wanted to do. The very thing that I thought would be saving my family, which is to become so wealthy that I wouldn’t have to ever worry about it again. I could just pay for my dad’s doctor’s appointments or for my brothers, whatever they need. Right? I was terrified to leave them behind and actually become the person who could do that because I saw it as breaking tribal law. I saw it as leaving my family in the dirt, leaving them in poverty. Of course, all of this is in my head. My family is perfectly fine now. Everybody grew up. Everybody’s fine. Everybody has Jo you know, there’s no one to save. Everyone’s fine. Right? But that little 12 year old inside of me doesn’t know that. She’s stuck there with a pair of scissors, a bottle of betadine, and her dad’s foot in her hand, terrified that she’s the only person who can help right now and damnit, she better find a way to make it work.
Right? Because it’s only her. There ain’t nobody coming. Right? So, when I realized that it’s so ironic because I was blocking myself from doing on one hand, achieving the success that would’ve helped 12 year old Heather feel like she was safe, but on the other hand, realizing that I was actually right, that, you know what, Heather, you really shouldn’t be trying to hit multiple seven figures if this is the lens, you’re gonna do it from. Because you know what, sweetie?
It isn’t your job to save anybody. That was never your job. And so, this is the first mindset shift I wanna offer you on letting go of what you’ve spiritually outgrown. Oftentimes, why we are blocked. We feel like something is a block. It’s not a block. It’s actually a really good thing that you’re being asked by universe God to pause, to look within, to discover why you are having a hard time moving forward. Because oftentimes the reason why, even though the goal is a good one, right? I do obviously still believe that I’m meant to take this company and grow and continue on with the mission of Atmana and training intuitive, you know, life coaches to take over the world and offer, you know, healing at the grand scale.
Obviously I’m still destined to do it, but I was trying to do it for the wrong reasons. I was trying to do it to save a version of myself that I had already outgrown. But that 12 year old me did not know it inside of me. She was trapped inside of me. And so while she wanted it desperately to do it, she was also scared to do it because it meant betraying. There was a part of me that felt like, oh my gosh, like, who am I gonna be if I become one of those people that are successful, who have the ability and the means to do this. Right? So it’s very, very, very convoluted and complicated when we really start looking at these parts of self. And so that’s the first thing to see that if you’re having a hard time moving forward, if you are aware and you know intellectually that, or even really feeling from a deep place within yourself, something to be true, but you’re still struggling with letting it go.
It’s because there’s a conflict there and it is not a block. It’s something for you to learn. It’s about going back, talking to that old self, you know, that former version, the inner child, right? The wounded inner child, and saying, okay, help me understand what got you stuck here. And so when I went and asked her, I was bawling in this session. What I said was I can’t leave them behind. I can’t leave my family behind. I have to stay here in this house doing this forever. I can’t leave. Right? I can’t go pursue this dream. And so, when I let go of the need to save my family, when I let go of the need of taking over responsibility and thinking like, now I look back on it and I’m like, how preposterous is it of it for me to think that I could even do that.
Like, it’s honestly actually quite egotistical when you really think about it, that would be something I would even think I would be able to do. Right? Of course it’s not my place to do that. It’s only my place to walk my own destiny’s path. And,you know? Inspiring others on their journey, but not taking over or under a responsibility for myself or anyone on that journey.
So I wanna give you some tips right now to letting go of what you have spiritually outgrown and why we really hold onto it. And then how we can really give ourself permission to step into it. The first is, one, the main reason why I believe we have a hard time letting go of what we’ve spiritually outgrown is, we don’t wanna break tribal law. Anytime, we truly ascend out of a belief, a thought, a worldview, it doesn’t matter, there is an aspect of breaking tribal law that is associated with it. What do I mean by tribal law? What I mean is here’s the rules of how things are done around here. These are the type of people we are, and we all enter into our adulthood.
With a certain specific set of tribal law. And so if we’re gonna let go of what we’ve spiritually out grown, we have to be able to say it is okay for me to put this down. So for me, I was breaking tribal law by not being the 12 year old who went like, what would’ve happened if I wouldn’t have grabbed the bottle of betadine in the stitches. You know? I don’t know what would’ve happened if I didn’t take responsibility for it, right? Metaphorically speaking, right? So I felt like leaving would’ve been equivalent to that. So there has to come a point where we say, actually, you know what, I’m not responsible for this. I’m not gonna continue. Yes, it was appropriate for 12 year old Heather to do that, but I’m not gonna continue walking around with that on my back. That’s ridiculous, right? I’ve moved on. It’s okay to not always act in accordance with this old way of doing things.
The second is fear of abandonment or of us abandoning others. I think we’re all pretty aware of our fear of being abandoned. Right? It’s a pretty core fear that most humans have. But what I found is I was actually, I wasn’t worried about my family abandoning me. I was scared of abandoning them. You know? I didn’t wanna be somebody who abandons the people I love, you know? I’m like a loyal person, so I didn’t wanna do that. So it’s fear of abandonment or fear of abandoning others. But if we’re gonna let go of the things we’ve outgrown, we have to learn to see growth as not abandonment. It’s just a move. You take it with you, right? You might be in a different place, but it doesn’t mean you’re a completely different person. It’s you and what you have learned. It’s you and the new you, right?
The third is just straight up the fear of the unknown. Anytime we let go of something and we create space for new in our life, we’re afraid of what that new is going to hold. We don’t know what life looks like when we say yes we’re open to becoming a new version of ourselves. That is so freaking terrifying. And so what we tend to do in the vacuum of, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, we tend to just sit right back into the way that we’ve always believed, the way we’ve always thought. We don’t really leave any permission. We don’t give ourselves permission to just sit in the curiousness of what may come of what could be. Okay. So the fear of the unknown, we need to replace that with curiosity about what could be. And it’s more of an attitude of like, hey, I don’t know. Let’s see what happens next. It’s almost like the anticipation when you’re watching a really good movie. You don’t know what’s gonna happen, but you’re really excited to see what is coming next. We need to replace that fear of the unknown with curiosity and excitement about what is to come.
The next one is fear of being wrong. I think that, even though where we’re at right now, it’s kind of like a shoe that’s too small. It might not be, you know, it might be a shoe that’s two sizes too small, but at least, you know, it’s a shoe. You know, it’s like, I’d rather stick with what I’ve got than risk it. A burden in the hand is better than two in the bush kind of thing. Fear that we’re making a mistake, fear that’s switching to this new way of being, you know, that embracing a new path is somehow like unreasonable or ridiculous is so common. It keeps us in our comfort zone. And so, it’s really about replacing the fear of being wrong with permission to make mistakes, permission to change our minds, permission to just experience new things. And also realize that you’re not saying that the new way is right, you’re just saying maybe. So it’s not right or wrong, good or bad. It’s just, I don’t know, maybe, I’m curious, I’m in the middle. Okay? I’m not, we don’t always have to be in these definitive polarities. You know, I think truly one of the three most powerful words a human being can speak besides I love you is, I don’t know. It’s okay to not know. You don’t have to know. That’s where the gold is. When you say, I don’t know, your world is open to you, right? So it’s replacing like this needs to be right, am I sure that this is gonna work out with, I don’t frickin know if it’s gonna work out, I’m not give it a try though, because I’m willing to let go of the old to embrace something new. And that means I have to have beginner’s mindset again and trust my intuition, trust my spirit, trust my soul to lead me forward. And then, here is a really big one. I’m gonna leave this with you. I want you to really meditate on this one in terms of letting go of what you’ve spiritually outgrown. When we let go of what we’ve outgrown and we step into greater truth, that comes with a ton of responsibility. Because when you know better, you’re responsible for doing better.
When you know better, you’re responsible for helping in a greater capacity. So, it comes with a lot of responsibility. And I think that we are afraid to say, to raise our hand and be like, yeah, you know what? I’ll take on that responsibility. So, you know, my best friend and I have this saying, don’t worry about the mule honey, load the wagon she was taking. This is when her kids were still little. She and her husband were at Disney world and she just had all this crap, right? Like with the baby, you know, sunscreen, water bottle all the stuff you pack up when you’ve got like, you know, toddler-age kids. And she is just throwing all this crap, you know? And she’s like, how are we gonna get it? Pulled us through the park. Like, God, it’s gonna be like, we’re gonna be so hot. And her husband turned to her and he goes, don’t you worry about the mule baby, just load the wagon. Right? He was saying. You don’t need to worry about it. You just need to do what you need to do. I’ve got this. I can carry the load.
And so anytime I’m afraid of, you know, the responsibility with stepping farther into my purpose, it’s almost like I hear spirits say to me, like, don’t worry about the real baby. Just load the wagon. Like you’ve got this. You’ve got support. You are going to be helped. You are going to be supported. You are going to be surprised at how strong you are and how effortlessly you really are able to step into deeper knowledge. Okay. So I’ll leave you with this. I want you to give yourself permission to step into your greatness, giving yourself permission to be different from your previous self while also still respecting and being your previous self. It’s not about losing yourself. It’s not about, you know, no longer being that person. I am still very much that 12 year old girl. I’m just more now, too. So I can feel her and I can tell that story and it moves me to tears and I can feel all the feelings that are still associated with it.
But it’s an expanded version of me. It’s her and all of the other me’s that I’ve been. So give yourself permission to be different from your previous self, and to become a new self while also still being that previous self. You’re not leaving anyone behind. As a matter of fact, this entire process is about reclaiming the totality of who you are, all parts of you being brought forward, all parts of you allowed to have a voice and to be a part of your life. Right? That is what true growth is. That is what it really means to say I am going to let go. In my experience, I think letting go is actually about just accepting the truth of who you are on all of these levels, but we don’t ever really let it go, do we? There’s actually no such thing as letting anything go. It’s really not about letting go. It’s about not letting that thing continue to have power over you. Okay. It’s about integrating that thing. It’s of actually about holding it closer to you and saying, I love you, thank you so much. And we’ve got this now higher self and I we’ve got this now.
We’ve actually grown enough that I don’t need you to do the heavy lifting 12 year old Heather. You can put the bottle of betadine and the scissors down and actually just go get busy doing what’s you’re called to do in this moment because we’re free, we’re free. We made it out. Right? And thank you. Thank you so much for how you helped us get here.
Okay. So I wildly ask you, I’m asking you to give yourself wild permission to let go of the things that are holding you back and by let go, I mean, hold them closer to yourself, such that they become a part of you and you can see how they fit into the broader scope and picture of the truth of who you are so that you can give yourself permission to play the bigger, brighter role that you were born to play in this world as the light worker and as an awakened person, because the world really does need you. And I know that sounds cliche, but it’s the truth. It’s the truth. So, we have a tendency to think like everyone understands these broader in you know, spiritual concepts. They don’t, they really don’t. Right? Your work is desperately needed. Even if you don’t do it professionally as an intuitive coach or a healer of any kind, even it’s just in your everyday life as an everyday intuitive. It’s about who you be in the world. So I want you to give yourself wild and radical permission to step into that greatness, to step into that expanded you.
And I would love to hear from you how this episode resonated with you. DM me over on Instagram. You can find me @heatheraliceshea, and let me know one of the things you’re most excited about in terms of stepping into what you’ve spiritually outgrown and also any questions that you have. You know, I actually do man my Instagram and I love chatting with everybody over there. So, find me over there @heatheraliceshea. Let me know what was your favorite part about this episode. And until next time. Together, we rise.