Ep49: 3 Ways to Overcome Imposter Syndrome & Use It To Your Advantage

Jan 4, 2021

Imposter Syndrome – it is the bane of any creative, good-hearted creatives and experts’ existence. What comes into mind when you think of imposter syndrome? How has it affected you?

In this podcast episode, Heather talks about imposter syndrome and why you should not be afraid of it. She shares what imposter syndrome really is, what she personally learned about it, what is the characteristic linked to imposter syndrome and how it shows up in your life. Heather will also ask some deep and important questions linked to imposter syndrome, and how you can use each one to your advantage.

Are you ready to turn the dreaded imposter syndrome from shadow to light? Then listen to the episode now!

Soul Stirring Quotes

“People who suffer from imposter syndrome tend to be unable to internalize their accomplishments.”

“Have more realistic expectations out of yourself. No one does everything perfectly.”

“Perfectionism is a form of self-punishment. It’s okay to not get things right all the time.”

“Focus on giving yourself permission to grow and to learn, because that is what we are all really here to do.”

“What is it you’re afraid you can’t do, know that that is something you are absolutely supposed to go to, and revel in the clarity that brings you.”

“You are supposed to step up and allow yourself to be judged for your strengths, and don’t give a shit about it. You are here to do you.”

“Be brave enough to allow yourself to be judged in that way so that other people who want to follow in your footsteps can have a light ahead.”

“We have to take in the imposter syndrome in its shadow form, give it a hug, relate to it, start working with it, and turn it into a positive force in our lives.”

Episode Timecodes:

  • 0:30 Heather gives her overview about this episode’s topic.

  • 1:05 Why Heather loves and hates talking about Imposter syndrome, and what she has learned about it personally.

  • 2:41 What you are going to learn from this episode about imposter syndrome and how you can use it to your advantage.

  • 4:15 What is imposter syndrome really is?

  • 6:07 How does imposter syndrome show up in your life?

  • 8:00 The unexpected characteristic that imposter syndrome is linked to.

  • 12:12 How can you use your imposter syndrome to your advantage?

  • 12:37 Question #1: What are you afraid you can’t do?

  • 14:34 Question #2: What are you afraid you aren’t?

  • 16:14 Question #3: What are the judgements you fear most from others?

Links Mentioned:

Connect with Heather

Email: hello@heatheraliceshea.com

Timezone: America/New_York

Website: heatheraliceshea.com


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Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the everyday intuitive podcast. I’m your host, Heather Alice Shea intuitive life coach trainer status quo, shaker and founder of Atmana Coaching Academy. Listen in each week to break up with your comfort zone claim your self confidence and radically embrace your role as an intuitive healer mentor and sought after coach let’s get within and get after it.

Hello? Hello? Hello everybody. What’s up. It is Monday. I am on today talking about. Oh, I don’t know, sort of the bane of the existence of every creative goodhearted person we are talking about imposter syndrome. So I’ve been getting a lot of requests lately to speak to imposter syndrome. You know what it is, how it trips us up and really how we can overcome it.

So that is what we are talking about. So I love this topic and I also hate this topic. I love imposter talking about imposter syndrome because it’s one of the easiest things to really overcome as a creative individual, particularly as an intuitive coach, or I would say really just any person who’s creative and loves feeling connected to other people.

Imposter syndrome is something that always shows up at some point in that creative. Journey. And that makes sense, right? Because when you’re dedicated to your own growth, When you’re really dedicated to stepping outside of your comfort zone, it’s very natural that you’re gonna feel these types of feelings.

Right? So I love talking about imposter syndrome because I think people are really shocked when they discover how easy this is to not only overcome and transcend, but really to get excited about because when you really understand what imposter syndrome is, it’s not, it’s actually becomes something that you can really.

To your advantage. So my wish for you, my goal for you is by the end of this, you are stoked any moment that you notice imposter syndrome, because you’re gonna learn by the end of this live, how to actually use it to your advantage because. What if I told you imposter syndrome, wasn’t a bad thing. What if I told you these are actually signs and synchronicities that are calling you into something greater than your conscious mind can even imagine.

And that is what I have learned about imposter syndrome in my own life. And so I’m really excited to share this with you right now. Okay. So what we’re gonna cover right now is four things, and I really want you to apply. What I’m about to show you. Okay. It’s not enough for us to just know things. Okay.

Insight is wonderful, but a great life. It does not make, okay. We have to take action on these things, and I’m gonna give you some actionable steps by the time we jump off this baby. Okay. So here’s what we’re gonna cover. We’re gonna cover four things. We’re gonna get a solid definition of what imposter syndrome is.

We’re gonna talk a little bit about how it shows up in your life, AKA, to discover if you have got a bad case of it. We’re gonna talk about the surprising characteristic or quality that it is linked to hint. It is not low self-esteem and it is not no ma’am no, sir. Lack of self-confidence. Many people think imposter syndrome is linked to that and it isn’t, it’s linked to another quality, which is totally in your ability to completely take out of your life.

Just with a freaking Thor of hammer. You can, the Thor hammer, you can. Take the crap out of it right. Outta your life. So you don’t have to deal with imposter syndrome as much anymore, although you will always have, I would hotly contend. We always have some form of imposter syndrome going on if we’re pushing outside of our comfort zone.

So again, if you have imposter syndrome, Congratulations. That means you’re a person dedicated to your own growth. Give yourself a round applause. Yay. And the fourth thing we’re gonna look at is three ways that it, you feel like it’s holding you back or three ways that actually does hold us back, but then how we can flip the script on that to use it as something.

To your advantage. Okay. So let’s look at what imposter syndrome is. According to the Harvard business review, they define imposter syndrome as a collection of feelings of inadequacy. that persist despite lack of evidence. So you continue to feel inadequate even though there’s really no evidence to support that.

Right. And also feelings of inadequacy despite achieving success. Right? So we feel inadequate when there is no lack of evidence that we are in fact inadequate, and we still feel inadequate even when there is ample evidence that we are adequate. I’m not gonna try to say that again, because that was really confusing, but you get my point, the point is it’s bullshit and we really need to stop acting like it’s something internalizing this because it really has nothing to do with how brilliant and bright and beautiful you really are.

So people who suffer from imposter syndrome. Feel a chronic sense of self doubt and really this kind of, this pervasive feeling of being an intellectual fraud that overrides any feelings of success they have and overrides any evidence to their competence or to the quality of work that they’re actually.

Producing. So another way to say this would be you become blind to your own genius. You become blind to your own greatness. You become blind to your own creative faculties because you’ve got this notion that you’re not good enough. I know like who doesn’t resonate with this, like everyone in the free world.

So people who suffer from imposter syndrome tend to be unable to internalize. Their accomplishments, however successful they are. They can’t quite ever let that sink into their mind so that they can recognize their competency at the things that they do. Okay. But how does this show up in your life? Like kind of on a daily, how do you know that this is really where you’re at?

The first is a belief that you can’t fail. This belief that I must not fail now. Most people won’t own up to that or cop to that easily. Right? Our logical self knows that. Well, of course I’m allowed to fail sometimes. , but that’s the logic talking a lot of us just emotionally demand that there’s no such thing as failure in our life.

Particularly if we have parents who set a high standard, right? So a belief that you must not fail, or when you do fail, interpreting that failure as an intrinsic character flaw within your beingness. Versus just an external event that happened. That’s asking you to pivot or change something in what you’re doing.

Right. It has nothing to do with you personally. It’s just, you failed. Okay. Some the plan you used didn’t work. Let’s go back to the drawing board versus an people who have imposter syndrome think. oh my God. No, I’m a failure. There’s something deficient with me. Right? So you internalize it as a flaw against yourself.

The second is this pervasive feeling of being a fraud. Like any minute, people are gonna find out that you suck or you’re deficient, or that you’re a fake, or that you’re a phony or that you’re inferior in some way that you’re just not as good as what you wish you. And then another one is just feeling pervasively, like not good enough, like you’re just never up to snuff.

And this is typically associated with having unrealistic expectations of yourself. Right. So if any of that resonates. You got yourself a big old fat case of imposter syndrome, which is fine. Right? Because figuring that out is half the battle, you know, it’s like the more, you know, right. So that’s the insight we need.

You can label it imposter syndrome. Amazing. Now we can just move forward with using it to your advantage. But before we do that, I want to give you that. Affected link that imposter syndrome is linked to. Okay. So lots of times when people have imposter syndrome, they try to work on their self-esteem or work on their confidence.

And of course I love all that. That’s great, but it’s really not actually going to move the needle on helping you overcome imposter syndrome because that’s not what imposter syndrome is rooted in. Actually, a lot of people who have imposter syndrome again are highly accomplished. They logically know that they’re competent.

You know, they probably even have. Self-esteem right, but they still have this pervasive feeling. Right? So the UN kind of the unexpected quality that imposter syndrome is linked to is perfectionism, not self-esteem and not confidence. It’s this it’s never good enough. It’s never good enough. It’s never good enough.

No matter how well you do, somebody could give you a 99.9, 9%. Mark. And you would focus on the 0.01 that you didn’t get. Okay. So I really wanna encourage you if you feel like you have imposter syndrome to start focusing on perfectionism as the root cause really put your energy there. That’s probably gonna give you more bang for your buck and getting over the feelings of imposter syndrome.

It’s have more realistic expectations out of yourself, you know, no one does anything perfectly and I know. Better than anyone. When I was in graduate school, like, I, I would be furious if I didn’t make a hundred, like I could get like a 99% and I’d be like, why did you dock me a percent? Like the 99 I got meant nothing to me.

It was that one. Like, why didn’t I get a hundred percent, you know, like it just. Drove me crazy that I couldn’t nail it all the way. And what I realized in that and being so hard on myself is that perfectionism is a form of self punishment. I’m gonna say that again. Perfectionism is a form of self punishment.

What have you done? That’s so wrong that you are not allowed to be a human being. Human beings never hit the mark all the way. We’re flawed. We’re flawed little beings. We’re, you know, we’re, we’re a work in progress every moment. It’s okay to not get things right. All the time. I discovered that in graduate school, that it was a form of like self punishment and almost self hatred.

This is, uh, lessons from the school of hard knocks right here. I’ve definitely, you know, lived this as well, which is why I think I can speak to it so passionately. So look at that tendency to demand that level of perfectionism and realize that what am I punishing myself for? What is it that I think I’ve done so wrong?

That I’m not allowed to be human, that I’m not allowed to be a human being and what is it I’ve done. That’s so wrong that I’m not allowed to learn too, because what perfectionism says is you are not allowed to learn. You’re supposed to know it. All right. Now you piece of shit, get it right. And you better get it right right now.

And if you don’t, I’m gonna punish you and say all kinds of horrible, bad things. That’s the dictator in your head. You know, that’s flailing you, right? That’s punishing you. It’s so malevolent and unkind, right? So that’s okay. We all have that inner dictator. We need to just say hi, I know you’re there and I’m not gonna let you be mean to me anymore.

I love you. Would you like a juice box and a rice crispy treat and go sit in the corner? Cause I am not here for that shit anymore. Okay. I love myself. I’m allowed to grow and change. I don’t have to get it. All the time. Okay. And I would hotly contend that if we did God, life would be so boring because it’s the messy.

That makes it fun. Okay. So that is how it shows up. That’s the unexpected link is that perfectionism. So again, focus there don’t work so much on confidence and self-esteem focus on giving yourself permission to grow and to learn because that’s what we’re all really here to do. Okay. So how can we begin to use your imposter syndrome?

To your advantage. Here we go. I want you to ask yourself three. We’re gonna ask yourself three questions and then we’re gonna look at how those are indicators for something amazing in your life. Okay. Are you ready? Grab a pen right here we go. Really come in with me on this. So I want you to really ask yourself this question.

The first question is this, what are you afraid you can’t do? What is it that you’re fundamentally afraid? That you can’t do. So the imposter syndrome is saying to you, I can’t do this. Oh, I’m scared to do this. I really wanna try this, but I’m scared. I’m scared. I won’t be able to do it. What is that thing it’s telling you?

You can’t do, what is it? You’re afraid you won’t do well enough. Guess what that is. Guess what that is. This is why it’s so awesome. This is why I love imposter syndrome because when you flip that on its head, when you flip that question on its head, you see what you’re called to go do. And what does it give you clarity?

Clarity think about that. So I’ll give you an example. Before I launched at man, I was afraid I wouldn’t be a good teacher. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to teach and train other coaches. I was afraid that that would be a skillset that was maybe just fundamentally beyond my reach. And what I realized is no, Heather, that is clarity on where I’m supposed to go, because I wouldn’t be so afraid of that.

If it wasn’t something that was so important to me, if it wasn’t a part of my destiny, I now realize that fear was just my small self going, oh my God. I know what would mean so much to me, it would mean so much to me. If I could be a teacher and I’m so scared that I don’t have the ability to do. So flip it on its head and see it as an indication of that’s exactly what you’re supposed to go do.

Look at the clarity in that. So that’s how you use it. What is it I’m afraid? I can’t do know that that is something you are absolutely supposed to go do. And revel in the clarity that brings you none a more of this, like, I don’t know. Yes. You know, girl, you know, come on now. You know, so which brings me to my next one.

The second one is. What are you afraid? You aren’t, we’re speaking to your beingness now. Okay. That first one was the doing this. Now we’re talking about what are you afraid? What do you want to be in this world and are you’re afraid that you aren’t. So this is an indication of who you actually are at a soul level.

It’s an indication of what you most desire to become and what I would say you already are your future self already. Is this your higher self already? Is this it’s the you right now? That has to catch up? What are you afraid you aren’t okay. I’m afraid. I’m not a good teacher. I’m afraid I’m not a good, intuitive, I’m afraid.

I’m not a good sister. I’m afraid I’m not a whatever, right? My little brother Adam told me this was maybe a year ago. He looked at me and he said, sissy, every man needs a big sissy like you. And it was like, I almost wanted to cry cuz I was like, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. It’s a great big, I have three little brothers.

They’re my heart. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to be to them was a good, big sister. And it just made me cry cuz like that’s what I wanna be. I wanna be a good, big sister. You. And I was afraid. I wasn’t, I was afraid I wasn’t supporting them in that way. So what does this reveal to you? What does this reveal to you?

It reveals to your potential, right? It reveals to your potential. How beautiful is that? So it’s showing you your potential, what you could become. If you give yourself a chance, third question. What are the judgements you fear from others? What are the judgements? That you fear most from other people? What is it you’re afraid they’re going to say about you, right?

Okay. So think about, that’s a very powerful question, cuz I really think that most of us are scared to show up in our power to be seen, to be heard, to stick our flag in the ground and say, this is me. This is who I am. This is what I do. Hell yeah. And show people that passion because we’re afraid of being judged.

We’re afraid of. And make no mistake about it. The worst kind of judgment comes not from people seeing your horrible side it’s for being judged in your strength and your brilliance and your beauty and your true being this. That is really the judgment we’re afraid of. If somebody hates you because of your weaknesses, it’s like, well, no shit.

I hate me cuz of them too. we all find that like, we all want that to go away, but what we’re really afraid of is being judged for our strength. Right for being judged for our brilliance. It’s that whole Marion Williamson quote. Right? So what are the judgements you fear most? And here’s what I will tell you.

This reveals your authenticity and your originality. You are supposed to step up and absel freaking completely allow yourself to be judged. Judge me all you want. for my strength, judge me all you want. I don’t care. I know I’m not here for everybody. I know my personality is a lot to take. I don’t give a shit.

It’s not, it’s not my problem. I’m here to be me to do me and those judgements, those judgements are not my concern and what they are an indicator for you. What it reveals to you is this, it reveals the molds. You’re here to shatter. It reveals the paradigms, those old paradigms. You’re here to break. It reveals the status quo.

You are here to shake. It reveals all of that to you when you understand, why am I afraid of being judged? How am I afraid of being judged? Those are the paradigms you’re here to shatter the ceiling. You’re here to, to kick in the door. You’re here to kick in, right. That how beautiful is that? You’re afraid people are gonna think you’re too much.

You’re here to be too much. You’re here to obliterate the idea that a human being is too much and should, you know, lower and dim their light. No, get out there. Be brave enough to allow yourself to be judged in that way so that other people who wanna follow in your footsteps can have a light ahead. So, do you see how imposter syndrome is such a wonderful compass for.

It comes to us in its shadow form. It’s a shadow form of relating to yourself. It’s scary. We don’t understand it. It’s kind of, oh, I dunno. But the truth is it’s a massive gift. We just have to see it. We have to take it in its shadow form, give it a hug, relate to it, start working with it and in doing so we really do turn it into this really incredible holistic positive force in our life.

Okay. Okay. So this is how we can use our imposter syndrome to our advantage. From this moment forward. I want you to see imposter syndrome as a blessing, not a burden as a, just a fantastic thing to have happen to you. Right. And really see it as something that can help you move forward. So I will leave you with that.

If you are not over in our Facebook group, where I do a heck of a lot more of these every week, then there’s a link in the description. If you hit that and join us, you get all kinds of free trainings and courses. And I don’t even know, man. There’s a lot of stuff over there. So go check the unit section.

If you join our Facebook group, you get access to a lot of free trainings and support that really help you embrace a lot of these concepts that we talk about as intuitive coaches and heal. Every single day. So as always, I love you guys together. We rise that is a wrap for today’s show. Thank you from the bottom of my feels for showing up today in your power and in your willingness to let your intuitive self lead.

And if you are still working your way to your first 50 to 100 K in your coaching practice, I have two incredible free resources to help you fast pass. This process, the first is to join our free and fun Facebook group. The atmana intuitive coach collective, where myself and our atmana instructors do free trainings every week to help you turn your obstacles into opportunities with each and every step you take so that you can begin to achieve success on your own terms, and finally make the money that you know, you deserve.

So, if you’re interested in joining our group, just pop onto Facebook and you can search bar Atmana, intuitive coach collective, and we will pop up or you can check our show notes for a link. And the second resource is a V I P ticket to our next upcoming five day workshop experience. Live your purpose, launch your practice, where you are going to learn four keys to claiming your intuitive confidence calling in clients with authenticity and integrity.

And then you’re gonna create your very first or one of many. Signature programs that help you sell your services with ease and grace. That also helps you go high ticket. So head on over to Heatheraliceshae.com/intuitive coach launch to get your V I P ticket, or you can check the show notes where you can get your hot little hands on a link to both the Facebook group and the five day work.

Until next time I see you. I love you together. We rise.