Is It Egotistical To Want More?

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stylishly rich

**Blog update:  This post got published by Elephant Journal.  You can start reading below, and read the full post here

There’s an innate drive that motivates us to become the best version of ourselves possible. 

I’m sure you’re familiar with this feeling.  It calls at you to seek greater levels of happiness and abundance in all areas of your life, and gives you the desire to help others do the same. 

But, are you using our spiritual path and purpose merely as a cover to try and fulfill your egoic desires?  Or are you truly trying to be constructive and serve from the heart by sharing your light via accomplishing great things with your life?  

I call this the “Abundance Conundrum.”

It forces us to ask ourselves, “Is it egotistical to want more?” 

From the Higher Self perspective, the answer is no. It’s not egotistical.  Not even a little bit.  And most people are a little surprised to hear me say that.

Wanting more is 100% in alignment with your Soul nature and the natural world around you. 

Allow me to give you a rad metaphor….

My father in law has a tomato garden.  He went out of town once and asked Brannon and I to water it while he was gone.  In just seven days, I had more damn tomatoes than I’d ever seen in my entire life. I was freaking swimming in them.  I had so many, I started leaving them anonymously on my neighbors’ front porches. 

Here’s my point.

That little tomato plant didn’t stop to ask itself whether it was ok to grow a pant-load of tomatoes.  It doesn’t worry whether or not it’s ‘wrong’ to be the best tomato-making bad-ass it can be.  It’s in perfect alignment with who it is and what it’s supposed to do in this world – which is be a great tomato bush and grow lots and lots of yummy tomatoes.

It simply grows as many heirlooms as it possibly can given the circumstances it’s in. That’s it.  Abundance is that easy.  And we are meant to do the same.

Your talents and gifts are your ‘tomatoes.’

We’re here to create as much epic shit as we can, for as long as we can, with whatever resources we have at each moment for the rest of our (hopefully long) life.

Our desire to want more is a fundamental part of our growth. In psychology we call it the desire to “self-actualize.” In spirituality we call it the desire to attain “enlightenment.” And we describe it in an everyday way when we say we “want more.”

Ego has nothing to do with it. Unless doing so comes from a place of misalignment, lack or over-attachment. And here’s how to tell if that’s where we are.

Below are four questions to ask ourselves to discover if our “drive to thrive” is rooted in heart…or not.

1. Are you judging yourself (or others) about having strong ambitions or success?

Success and egotism tend to be correlated in our minds. We believe that successful people usually get there by caring more about themselves and money than people and relationships. In truth, the size of our ego and our level of success have nothing to do with one another. There are plenty of perfectly humble successful people in the world and plenty of arrogant unsuccessful people.

Wanting success doesn’t make you egotistical. Being an arrogant a-hole does. Stay humble, but be outrageously determined and ambitious when it comes to committing to personal success.

2. Do you really want the things you’re working toward or do you want them because others have them and you don’t?

Let’s do a quick exercise. Write down the top three aspirations you have right now. Ask yourself, “Self, do I really, in my heart of hearts, in the deepest part of my soul, genuinely care about attaining these things? If so, why are they important to me?“

When we are operating in alignment with our “mores,” the answer will usually be something like this…

  • “I want this because it sounds crazy fun.”
  • “I want to do/have/be this to challenge myself, and I think this is the best way to go about it.”
  • “I feel compelled to do this. I know it’s completely irrational, but I overwhelmingly feel it’s what I’m called to do.”

If our answers don’t sound something like this, then what we’re after might not be coming from a place of aligned desire.

3. Do you believe that it’s selfish or morally wrong to be financially, emotionally or mentally abundant?

The idea that it’s dishonorable to “have more” because it’s selfish or that others might suffer because of this is total crap. That’s like saying the tomato plant shouldn’t grow as many tomatoes as it can because the plant next to it isn’t able or willing to do it too.

Great! Now everyone is poor, broke and hungry.

Remember, our job is to grow as many tomatoes as we can. Then we’re in a powerful position to help those who have less. We have a sacred responsibility to use the abilities we were given for good. Diminishing our light so others don’t feel bad (or judge us) is simply crazy-pants.

4. Do you really believe that you possess the ability to create or accomplish what you want most?

As wild as it sounds, sometimes we use our ego as an excuse to not go after our dreams. On a subconscious level, we have serious doubts about whether or not we’ve got what it takes to make big things happen.

So instead, we adopt the belief that it’s egotistical to pursue our goal, which psychologically justifies our inaction, making it possible to never face our real fears head-on. If this sounds familiar, please stop. Yes, we can do it.

It’s time for us to get out there and start sharing our tomatoes.

Much love,





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