What compliments have you gotten lately, and how did you respond to them? Did you find yourself accepting and embracing the praises, or did you downplay your reaction? How did you feel about your self-belief after getting the praises that you know deep down you deserve?
In this episode, Heather shares all things self-belief and how you can start believing in yourself and your worth even through these chaotic times. She will share what self-belief truly is and why it is so hard, especially for intuitive, healers, and empaths, to accept their worth. She will share how each person is wired to not believe in themselves, how ego plays a part in your self-belief, and how you can surround yourself with the right kind of people. Heather will also give five amazing ways you can use to encourage you to start believing in yourself again.
Listen to the whole episode and be inspired by Heather’s beautiful words and tips that will help you boost your self-belief today!
Soul Stirring Quotes
“You are going to take our power back and start placing it where it belongs, which is internal.”
“It’s about understanding that you have to be your own safe place, that you have to be your own firm, immovable, and unconquerable resource that you are from within yourself.”
“It’s very important to understand that you are going to have to fight against programming that is so deeply embedded in yourself and in our culture.”
“You’re going to be working against yourself to achieve that goal of believing in yourself.“
“You’re not supposed to be good at everything. What you’re here to do is to shine in the areas where you have natural strength.”
“I want you to be the best you can be. And I want to be around people who want me to be the best I can be because this world needs that, period.”
“When you believe in yourself, you’re willing to try new things and make a mess of things, but still be super happy and wagging your tail while you’re doing it.“
“Whenever you see that you’re diminishing yourself, understand that it’s the program and the ego keeping you small.”
“Do not listen to people who do not love you. Do not listen to people who do not want what’s best for you and want to see you win.”
“Give yourself time. Mastery and accomplishment at whatever it is you’re trying to achieve happen over time.”
“Give yourself permission to grow like a plant. It starts out as a seed and it grows into this beautiful little tree.”
“Throw expectations out the window and watch yourself be pleasantly surprised of what you are capable of.”
“You can’t fail if you don’t quit. There’s no such thing as not succeeding if you just refuse to quit.”
“I’m improving every day. I’m refusing to quit. I’m allowing myself to be in the world and to take up space.”
“I’m throwing my expectations out of the way and I’m just here allowing myself to grow, understanding that I’m going to find mastery along the way.”
“You have to be okay with staying in your lane, doing your thing, loving everybody up, believing in yourself and giving yourself permission to grow, and just do your thing.”
0:26 Heather shares what this episode is all about and what she wants to achieve at the end of the episode.
1:42 What is the true meaning of self-belief?
4:21 Why is self-belief hard?
4:32 Reasons why self-belief is hard #1: You are programmed to not believe in yourself and that you are arrogant if you believe in yourself.
9:01 Reasons why self-belief is hard #2: You are aware of all of the times you have fallen short of very unrealistic expectations.
10:00 Reasons why self-belief is hard #3: You are aware of your weaknesses.
12:27 Heather talks about the kind of ego that tries to keep you small, inferiority complex, and surrounding yourself with the right people.
18:09 Heather shares an attitude that you can take to believing in yourself as you are moving through life.
22:15 Heather shares five ways to help you start believing in yourself.
22:23 Ways to start believing in yourself #1: Know that you are the one who says you can and can’t.
22:56 Heather shares the three characteristics of people who she let in in her life.
24:29 Ways to start believing in yourself #2: Give yourself time for growth.
25:59 Ways to start believing in yourself #3:Throw expectations out the window.
27:19 Ways to start believing in yourself #4: Just say no to failure.
32:24 Ways to start believing in yourself #5: Do it for joy, not because you’re good or bad at it.
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Welcome to the everyday intuitive podcast. I’m your host, Heather Alice Shea intuitive life coach trainer status quo, shaker and founder of Atmana coaching academy. Listen in each week to break up with your comfort zone claim your self confidence and radically embrace your role as an intuitive healer mentor and sought after coach let’s get within and get after it.
Hello, everybody happy Monday. Intuitives how are you? So welcome. I cannot believe it is November. Holy cow. So today we are going to be talking all about believing in your self, and I’m gonna give you five keys that with any luck will encourage you to. Start to take ownership of where you are placing your power.
So in psychology, they have this concept of locus of control and locus of control can either be internal or external. And so the goal with this is to move you from. An external locus of control back to an internal locus of control. So I know I’m getting technical right now. It’s kind of nerdy a nerdy way to say, we gonna take our power back, girl, we gonna take our power back.
Okay. We’re gonna stop putting our power out here in the world and we’re gonna start placing it where it belongs, which is internally, which is within ourselves. Okay. And I’m gonna go over five things that you can think about to help you do. So why is this important? Why is self belief important? Well, first of all, we can approach this from a thousand different ways, but really the way that I would, I suppose, I I’m gonna be speaking to it today is just you as a human being.
We can apply this to your business. We could talk about this from a sales perspective, from a messaging perspective, from the perspective of putting your packages out, all that stuff. Right. And I really kind of wanna just put a pause on that because all of the business building stuff and being an entrepreneur and all that.
It’s really. So, so, so, so, so secondary to who you are as a person and how you move through your lived experience in being yourself right. And being the person that you are. Right. So we talk a lot about how, as intuitives, we really know that we’re doing this from a soul perspective, everything that you’re bringing forward in your business is because you feel a deep call within your heart and soul to do something.
Important in the world. And all of that is predicated on the relationship you have to yourself. And right now the world has never been in more chaos. There’s never been more question marks around us, in our external environment than ever before. So not only, it’s never a good idea to have the belief that you have in yourself, the conviction that you can accomplish, what you want to accomplish or experience what you want to experience.
That’s always a bad idea to have that externally located right from yourself. But it’s what I would say is it’s downright dangerous to do that in our environment today. I believe that this is why we’re seeing so much mental illness. People just aren’t rooted in themselves, right? If it’s out here, you are going to be tossed to and F and so that is really what this is about.
It’s about understanding that you have to be your own safe place, that you have to be your own firm. Immovable uncomfortable resource, right? That you are firm within yourself. It’s like a steel rod, right? You’re holding onto it. It doesn’t move. It’s immovable. It’s uncomfortable. Okay. It doesn’t matter what happens out here because you know who you are, so you don’t need to worry about what’s happening out there.
What this, what if this, what if that, oh my God. Ooh, all this stuff. I don’t give a shit. I know who I. And I know I’m uncomfortable. That’s what this is about. Does this make sense? Okay. So let’s talk a little bit about why self-belief is hard. Why is it hard to believe in ourselves? Well, the first is this and this is the big mammo Jamma.
Okay. This is a big one, especially for women. The reason why self-belief is hard is because you are programmed to not believe in yourself. and not only that you’re programmed to, from the moment you’re born, you’re programmed to give your power away. You’re programmed to. Believe that somebody external to you, some authority figure, parent teachers, older sibling, who cares you are literally programmed from the moment you are born to believe that your power resides outside of you and the system largely benefits from this.
The world does not want the current system of humanity that we are in, does not want empower people who think for themselves and have a declarative. No, to say particularly if you’re female. Okay. So this is very important to understand that you are going to have to fight against programming that is so deeply embedded in yourself and in our culture that it almost seems like a radical act of just belligerent defiance to have self-belief.
Okay. So you are programmed to believe that it is wrong to believe in your own truth. Not only that you are programmed to believe that you are arrogant. If you do believe in yourself and believe what you believe to be true above all things, you are programmed to believe that that is a sin, that it is arrogance.
Okay. So that’s the first thing you have to understand that your own mind works against you because of this programming. Okay. So it’s okay to feel good about yourself, but not too good. Not too good. It’s okay to think that you’re smart, but not too smart. Get in your place. Little girl, get in your place.
It’s okay to think you’re pretty, but not too pretty. Okay. You feel me? You’re always getting that from somebody, this look of like, get back in your box, no matter which way you move. So it’s okay to be good, but not too good. Smart, but not too smart. Pretty, but not too. Pretty funny, but not too funny. Don’t you dare don’t you dare B.
Excellent. And oh my God. If you are you better apologize, young lady. Do you feel the energy I’m giving you following me right now? The evidence for this is like, someone goes, oh my God, I love your outfit. And you’ll say so, like I notice I do it all the time. I’ll be like, I got it at target. Like I instantly downplay it.
Oh, this old thing. Even when we get a compliment, we downplay it. Don’t you dare, you know, you have to minimize right. You can’t go. Thanks. I know. I do look fucking awesome today. Like you can. Say that you look awesome too, by the way, you can’t do that. You can’t own it. Don’t you dare own it. Don’t you dare you sit there with your hands folded and say, oh, thank you so much this, oh, well, I don’t know about that.
Hmm. Acting very petite and demure. This is how we are taught and it is absolutely the truth. And that this is running in our head. Okay. So you’re gonna have to fight against that and you’re gonna have to be willing to let people think that you’re arrogant because arrogant equals self-confident. If you are female.
Okay. I have people tell me, oh, I get this all the time. All the time, all the time, all the time from people who don’t know me. They say God, you’re so full of yourself. People will say that to me all the time. And I’m like, why, what makes you think I’m full of myself? Because I don’t apologize. And I don’t edit myself and I don’t use nice language and I’m not here to, like now I’m not full of myself.
I just speak my mind. And I don’t give a shit if people like it or not, I’m not arrogant. I’m the nicest person in the world. What I am is confident. And I live in a world that if you’re confident, you’re arrogant. If you’re female, if I was a man. People would just think I’m a go getter. you know what I mean?
But because I’m female, there’s somehow something wrong with me. Right? So that’s the first one. Are you willing to let people perceive you as arrogant in order to own your confidence? I don’t know it’s up to you, but if you don’t say yes to that, then you’re gonna continually hamstring yourself. You’re going to be working against yourself to achieve that goal of believing in yourself.
Okay. The second reason why it’s hard to believe in yourself is you are aware. like you have a running tally in your head for as long as you’ve been alive. That is aware of all of the times that you have fallen short of what was probably a very unrealistic expectation. So a way that we can get over this one is to start auditing well, that wasn’t realistic to begin with.
Right. So you’re aware though, right? You have this running tally that makes you think that maybe you won’t be able to accomplish it. So that’s fair. You know, I get that, you live with that running tally where it’s other people are like, oh my gosh, you could totally do this. You’ve got this, like your friends cheer you on, you know, everybody’s like, you’re the best you can do this.
You’ve got this. And you’re like, I don’t know. It’s because you have this tally in your head. So realize though that if you were to really stop and kind of examine all of those things that you perceive as falling short, you would realize you didn’t fall short. You actually did really well. It’s just, you had unrealistic expectations, which we all do to ourselves.
And then the third one is that you’re aware of your weaknesses. You know, nobody has insight into the areas where, you know, you truly do have maybe a deficiency or something within yourself that does need a little bit of work. Right. We all have that. There’s no shame in that at all. We can’t be good at everything.
So you’re aware of that. And it does kind of make us feel like, oh, you know, I don’t know. Can I do. Right. So I think the antidote to this one is to just realize, well, duh, like you can’t be good at everything and that’s okay. You’re not supposed to be good at everything. Right. And that really what we’re here to do.
Isn’t to spend so much time trying to fix everything we’re bad at. So, which is what we’re here to do really is to shine in the areas where we have natural strength. Okay. So we do our work, but we also should be placating to our. Operating out of our strengths, not spending so much time working on our weaknesses, right?
God gave you strengths for a reason. Universe gave you strengths that you are here to play into. Okay? So I could spend the rest of my life trying to become a great singer. I could spend eight hours a day, 10 hours a day, 20 hours a day, 24 hours a day, trying to become a good singer. And I promise you that I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever be as good as my friend, Rachel who’s.
Just has like, she sings like an angel, right? God gave her this voice. That’s like, oh, it’s like, you love it. I cannot sing at all. I have no natural talent and I don’t have a good voice at all. Like, it’s just, even if I could get my pitch, right. Like I just don’t have a strong, pretty voice. It’s not my strength.
Okay. No problem. Like I’m not meant to be a singer. That’s okay. so I can work on it. Sure. No problem. But it’s like, it’s about recognizing that it’s okay. That we’re not strong in everything. Like that’s okay. Like that’s her gift, her genius. I can admire and encourage her and her singing voice and be so proud and so happy for her because that is her strength.
I can even feel joy in knowing that there is another person out there that is so gifted at this thing that I really love and wish I was good at, but know just that in this lifetime, it’s not where I should be probably spending my energy. Right. So in other words, I can feel that joy. For being a good singer through my friend, Rachel right.
And being happy for her and with her as she expresses that gift. Right. That’s kind of how I see this it’s we don’t need to be spending all of our time trying to be good at everything when we could just celebrate other people who are good at it and stay in our zone of genius. We talk a lot about the ego being this grandiose narcissistic thing.
I’m the best, I’m the best. I’m the best. We’re very, very aware of that egoic programming when the ego is trying to keep us small. So we’re very aware of the grandiose ego, but what we’re less aware of is the ego that tries to keep us small. So intuitives, and impass like us, we do not have a superiority complex.
We have an inferiority complex, but what we have to understand is that inferiority complex is ego two. It’s just, it’s the same thing. It’s the same thing. So think about it like this. If you do continue to play small, feel ashamed all of these things, right? Oh, feel guilty. Feel ashamed, play small act. Amur be a nice girl.
All of this stuff. Well, how lovely. Isn’t that great. What makes you so special that you’re not allowed to feel good about the gifts God gave you to it’s the most egoic and most narcissistic thing in the world to assume that you’re so special, you’re not here. To live in the purpose that you were born into, if you really stop and think about it, it’s just as egoic as narcissism.
It’s just, it hides itself better. Right? So people say, oh, I don’t have a life purpose, or I’m not here to do anything special, really? Cuz all people have a purpose except for you. Right. God you’re that special. Come on. You see how it’s ego? It’s just tricking you into the inferiority position, not the superiority position.
Okay. So recognize that as ego, no, you are here to shine and be brilliant. Just like everybody else, just like everybody else. When you are in your brilliance, feeling your swagger, knowing you’re awesome. You’re being just like how every other human being on the earth was meant to be you’re no different, right?
It’s just like an ordinary thing to be feeling that way, except for the world is gonna tell you to sit down and shut up because it benefits by you sitting in a small position. And that is what we have to push against. I tell people all the time you are as welcome as you like to be, to judge me. And it is an indication of your own position that has nothing to do with me.
If you wanna think I’m not arrogant, you’re used to playing small. I’m not intimidating. You are intimidated because you’re used to playing small. You are used to the inferior position. You are comfortable. In your comfort zone. I am not. And I am not going to apologize for it. And you are as free as you like to judge me on that.
I don’t care. You’re not for me then go. Cool. I love you. I want you to stick around. I love you so much. Let’s do this thing. Do you wanna be awesome? Awesome. Cuz I wanna be awesome and I want you to be awesome and I wanna be around people who want me to be awesome and I have 0% chill for people who want to act like that’s not okay.
I have 0% chill, 0%. I’m not. We’re not having this conversation, not while I’m around, I have 0% chill for it. I want you to be the best you can be. And I wanna be around people who want me to be the best I can be because this world needs that period. Full stop. End of story. I’m done will not put up with anything less than that.
And you know what? Yeah, that means that a lot of people are not gonna be able to hang around. You know, me, if that’s how. I don’t care. I don’t care if that’s fine. I love you. I want you to stay, but I’m not gonna let, how I show up in the world, be dictated by people who don’t wanna at least do that, or at least try to do that.
Right. Again, not saying people have to be awesome. I’m saying you have to want to live in a world where all people feel liberated to do that. Right. It’s a desire we have. Do you see what I mean? I wanna be around people who force me to be better. I wanna be around people who challenge me. I wanna be around people who are like.
you know what, come on, man. Like, you’ve got more to give, right? I wanna be around people who are in that pursuit of awesome. And we can’t do that while we’re pretending, like we don’t want to be awesome, cuz I believe we all have that intrinsic desire to express the truth of who we are. Right. So this is about giving yourself permission in your way to express that, to express that desire.
Everybody has a different like presentation. I’m pretty masculine in. You know, I’m pretty like cut and dry, you know, Ingram ate over here. Don’t really have a lot of, you know, patience for that. And that’s okay. You know, it’s just, that’s just where I’m at at this point in my life. Right. And I have actually found it in being this way.
It it’s really good for other people cuz they’re like, oh, you know what, thank you. And I’m like, I know dude, like, come on, let’s stop pretending. Like we don’t have it in us. We do have it in us. It’s so much more fun to live your life that. Humble bragging the fake humble. Yeah. They’re the first people to be like posting pictures of themselves, half naked in a bikini, and then calling themselves fat when they’re like shredded and down to like 17% body fat.
You know what I’m talking about? People that like, come on, like, we all know what you’re here doing. Right? You want to celebrate yourself, but you’ve been programmed to think that you’re not allowed to celebrate your. So you post these pictures and say all this dumb shit to try and get other people to celebrate you so that you can then feel good about yourself because you’ve got permission to now because other people did.
And now you can do that without feeling like people are gonna come for you. What you really just wanna do is say that you look great today. Why don’t you just say you look great today. Let’s cut to the chase. Come on. You see what I mean? Like we’re not bullying anybody here. We all know that this is what these people are doing, right?
So it’s about getting over these blocks to just being. You’re amazing. I’m amazing. We’re all amazing. Right? It’s not arrogant to believe in yourself. It’s not arrogant to just look at what you’re doing well and what you’re not doing well, and make an honest assessment of that. Okay. So let’s talk really quick about an attitude that we can take to believing in ourselves as we are moving through life.
Totally making mistakes, because if we are going to be on the path of Ascension, if we are going to be walking in our fullest self, expressing our hero self boy, lemme tell you what one of the characteristics of that is just like constantly making mistakes. So that’s kind of a key to, I’m gonna go over five things in here just a second, but one of the characteristics that you could say maybe of like self-belief is that you’re constantly fucking things up.
I mess things up every single day. Dude. I am like, I don’t know. The vibe is like a puppy that’s just like got muddy paw and is screwing up the living room. Like that is kind of the good way to look at believing in your. Because when you believe in yourself, you’re willing to try new things and make a mess of things, but still be like super happy and wagging your tail while you’re doing it.
So it’s ironic because you would think that self-belief, it comes with this, like I’m doing everything well, actually, no, as a matter of fact, you’re doing a lot of things, not well, Because a characteristic of self-belief is that you’re willing to try new things and allow yourself to learn through making mistakes.
Right. So just understand that that is an absolute part of it, right. That we are getting out there and we are allowing ourselves to make mistakes. So a great way to think about this is babies learning how to walk. So, you know, human babies, we start to learn how to walk around like 10 months to a year old.
Have you ever watched a baby learn how to walk? It is absolutely insane. They fall down a million thousand times. They fall, they trip, they can’t get up. I mean, it is incredible and never once does that baby, like, it’s not the baby. Isn’t like, oh, I hate walking. I’m never gonna try. It, it wants to do it. The baby wants to walk by itself.
It wants to take its first steps by itself. It’s not discouraged. It’s not upset. It’s do. It’s just like determined to walk, no judgment, nothing. Just I’m learning a new skill. Right. Baby falls down and laughs. It’s all great. Right? It’s that feeling of like, I’m just learning how to walk. I’m just giving myself permission to try to learn how to do so.
something new. Okay. So think about that. Do babies get all upset because they made a mistake or they didn’t get something right on the first try. They don’t, they just keep persisting at it until they’re walking and all humans have that innate ability to learn how to walk, to learn how to speak. Right. So this is something that, unless we have some type of, you know, physical ailment, Um, you know, neuro, um, non neurotypical, um, presentation in life that all human beings have the ability to do.
Right. So that is kind of the way I think, I always remember that the baby analogy, when I feel doubtful about my abilities, like, if I’m scared to try something, if I’ve got a really big goal that I want to achieve, but I’m like super scared to do it. Or if I feel like I don’t have the ability to do it, or if I’m like, oh, Heather, come on, like, you’re being unrealistic.
That’s not like, who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Right? That’s how mine appears. Who do you think you are to say you want a 30 million a year business? Who are you? Okay, well, who am I not, who am I not to do it? Who’s this person out there. That’s allowed to want that. That I’m not. Do you see how the ego keeps?
The inferiority is really arrogant too. Oh, you’re so freaking special, Heather, that you can’t do that everybody else in the world can have those types of dreams. And if they did, you would celebrate them and clap them on because you would love that. Right? That’s amazing. You admire people who do it, but you can’t do that.
You’re so fucking special that you can’t do it. Are you guys following me on this inferior ego? You see how it’s a trick, how it’s a lie. It’s just as bad as narcissism. The ego doesn’t care, man. It’s gonna use whatever it has to, to keep you small, to keep you in your comfort zone to keep you sitting right where you’re at.
So it doesn’t after I have to find out something interesting about. Okay. So whenever you see that you’re diminishing yourself, understand that’s the program and the ego keeping you small. Okay. So remember this babies, you have the right to do it. Just like little babies have the right to do that too. So the first is I’m gonna give you five ways to start believing in yourself.
Kind of like UN uncommon ways to approach believing in yourself. The first is know that you are the one who says, so. Who is this person who says that you can or can’t realize that nobody on the planet has the ability to tell you that you can or can’t except for you. If you say you can. Great. And if you say you can’t great, there’s no, it’s all neutral.
It’s just on what you say you want. And you being the one who says, so. A hundred percent. You’re the one who says a hundred percent. Now. I’m not saying you don’t listen to feedback from people. Certainly. I think you should listen to feedback from your trusted advisors and people in your life who love you want what’s best for you and want to see you win by the way, never take advice from someone who doesn’t love.
You want what’s best for you and is invested in your health and happiness and wants to see you win. Do not listen to people who do not love. You. Do not listen to people who do not want what’s best for you and want to see you win. Okay. You have to understand that they want to see you achieve the goal that you want for yourself, not the goal they want for you, but the goal you want for you.
Okay. Those three things you do not. I’m gonna say it one more time. Do not listen to feedback from people who do not love you. People who do not want what is best for you and people who do not want to see you win it. The thing you want to win at these people do not deserve space in your mind. They are not on your team.
I’m not saying they need all three. In order for you to be able to let them advise you against your own judgment. I only listen to people who have these three characteristic. Because I know they’re not gonna steer me wrong. Other than that, I’m going with what I know to be true from my higher self. I listen to my higher self and spirit, and that is it.
Unless a person is in my life who checks those three boxes. Okay. Other than that, my higher self wins. It is my own inner knowing that rules my life, not other people’s opinions. Okay. I have people in my life that love me dearly, but they want for me what they want for me, not what I want for me. Okay. It’s my life.
I have to be living my own life. Right. It’s your life. You have to be living your own life. Okay. So it’s not to say you don’t take feedback. It’s that you take feedback from people who you. Are actually in a position to help you. So you’re the one who says, so, okay. Listen to feedback from people who check those three boxes and then you’re off to the races.
The second is give yourself time, you know, give yourself time, mastery and accomplishment at whatever it is you’re trying to achieve happen over time. Not overnight. Okay. It’s a process, not an event. So when we switch our mindset over to, oh, like I’m actually not supposed to be an expert at anything. When I first start learning how to do.
Or I first start trying, we’re actually supposed to be like really bad at things. when we first start bad at things, by the way, what does that mean? By the way to be bad at something I have to put that in quotes. Cuz what does that mean anyway? That you aren’t good at something? What does that mean? Okay.
Cause we have a certain standard by which we think something is good or bad and in the world we live in. Something is good or bad based on typically the product that it yields for other people to be happy. Okay. So I completely, um, that’s a whole other conversation for us to have a, to talk about what is bad and what is good.
Typically it has nothing to do with what’s bad or good for you. It’s gotta do with how productive it is for other people. So, you know, you’re not, but even with that being said good, bad or ugly, it doesn’t matter to become excellent at anything. It takes time. So give your, in other words, give yourself the gift of growth.
Give yourself the, the permission to grow like a plant. It starts out as a seed and it grows into this beautiful little tree. You’re giving yourself permission to do that with your skills and with what you are trying to create in the world. Okay. The third is just throw expectations out the window. In order for us to believe in ourselves, we have to understand that the benchmarks we typically have in our mind for our performance or for our mastery or for attainment of whatever it is we’re trying to do are typically garbage.
I remember once when I was a kid, I was in elementary school and I was doing the long jump, you know, you’d have to like stand there and then just jump as far as you can, like, you couldn’t run, but just like the standing still long jump thing. So my dad told me, he said, Heather, don’t think about a specific line when you’re jumping.
Like don’t. I’m gonna jump five feet or I’m gonna jump five and a half feet. Don’t do that. Just say to yourself, when you’re standing there, I’m gonna jump as far as humanly possible. I’m gonna jump as far as humanly possible. In other words, I have no expectation about the performance I am about to deliver other than I am going to surprise myself by what I am capable of.
I’m about to discover what I am currently in this present. Now moment capable. Not what I think I’m capable of based on past performances, not what I hope I’m capable of based off on realistic expectations, but what, in this moment, in this current now moment, what I am capable of, I am about to discover that, okay.
Throw expectations out the window and watch yourself be pleasantly surprised. Okay. Number four is just say no to failure. Like you can’t fail. If you don’t quit. Let’s underline that like you can’t fail if you don’t quit. So there’s no such thing as like not succeeding. If you just refuse to quit. Now, this requires us to endeavor at things that are truly meaningful to us, which again is a whole other topic.
But the point here is you will really start believing in yourself a lot when you know, there’s no quit in you. Like, I know I’m gonna be successful, cuz I’m either gonna be as successful as I choose to be, or I will die trying, therefore failure doesn’t exist in my world cause I’m either gonna be trying or accomplishing, trying, or accomplishing, trying or accomplishing, trying or accomplishing, trying or accomplish.
There’s no fail here. It’s not an option. I choose to not believe that that’s true for me. Okay. Again, that’s real arrogant, ain’t it? But I don’t care cuz like I’m living my life. Nobody has to wake up and be me every day. Nobody has to wake up and look at me in the mirror. Except for me, nobody gets to walk to the bank with me.
Nobody’s paying my mortgage. Nobody’s paying for my child’s college. No one has the responsibilities I have. Okay. Nobody has the responsibilities you have. So like failure does not exist. Just say no to that. You are the one who sets that tone and understand that a lot of people are gonna give you those expectations and those measurements.
And that’s fine. That’s okay. That’s a normal thing, but it’s up to you as to whether or not you want to internalize. ’em okay. We can use them as benchmarks. We can use it as like, it can inform your terrain, but it’s not the whole story. Right. Because godly knows what you could accomplish. If you really let yourself get out there, it’s kind of like a Ferrari, like if you look at cars, it’s like a Ferrari, who’s never known anything, but like a Hyundai Sonata.
Like, but you’re a Ferrari. Yeah. But you’ll never know you’re a Ferrari. If, if you’re just constantly surrounded by Hyundai sonatas and the Sonata only goes 95 miles an hour, and everybody’s telling you that if you go one 20, that’s never gonna be possible because cars only go 95. Yeah. But I’m a Ferrari.
Okay. I don’t know, like when you’re in your zone of genius, you’re the Ferrari of cars, right? When you are walking in your soul’s purpose, you are the Ferrari. See, that’s the thing, right. When you’re operating from that place. Okay. So it, we can certainly go. Okay, cool. Like there are other cars that kind of cap out at 95.
That’s good to know. That’s awesome. I applaud them. That’s amazing. If I see a Hyundai snot hit 95, I’m gonna freaking freak the hell out because I’m. A car perform at its highest possible maximum expression of performance and Ascension. And I’ll probably like cry as I watch it, because that is something that’s so beautiful to witness.
And I can applaud that for that person. And also realize that like one 20. Is my equal, right? So it’s the same, but equal when I was a kid, I would make straight A’s. My brother Billy would make C’s. He had a learning disability and my mother would applaud Billy when he made C’s. And me, when I made A’s equally.
And I remember being pissed at my mom going, mom, why do you applaud Billy? If I gotta C you’d beat my butt. And she goes, because Billy C is your, a Heather. And vice versa, right? I’m a C in something else that a person is an a in my job when I’m making a C is to scream and clap and lose my shit on the sideline.
When I see somebody making a, doing a one 20, right. I’m like, oh my God. I got like, look at what’s possible. Like. Like look, look at what is possible. Like it’s such a miracle. I’m like blown away by that. Like, I love being around people who like fundamentally like singers, right? Again, like when I listen to Adele sing, I’m like, I am standing in the presence of like, Greatness.
Like, I don’t know how she does it. And I’m just like in awe. Right? So either way, it doesn’t matter which position you’re in. You’re rooting for that highest expression, whether you’re in yourself or other people, you’re always a champion of that thing. Right. Standing on the sidelines, cheering. What self-belief is about is claiming that you have a right to be 1 22.
and that you damnit you better be clapping for me cuz I’m over there clapping for other people, you know, you see it’s, it’s taking up space. It’s giving yourself permission to be fully in the world receiving support. And then it’s not like, get rid of you, fracking you if you don’t support me. No, no, that’s not the attitude.
It’s more like, I’m just, I know what I deserve. I know that I love people and I want everybody to win and I’m lovingly allowing myself to be supported in that way. Like I insist that I be supported that way. Because I insist that other people be supported that way. Try talking shit about somebody I know in front of me, you’re gonna get, I won’t let people talk back.
we don’t do that. Right. We support, we love it. It’s there’s this unity mindset of together. We rise. Like that’s not my tagline for no, or for no reason. Right. So there’s no failure. You have a right to perform at your highest and celebrate yourself and everybody else that’s doing that regardless of where that level of performance is.
Right. Okay. Which brings me to my fifth one, do it for the joy. Not because you’re good or bad at it. Open up to the idea. I think that this is something, again, this could be a whole other, you know, topic, but I noticed that we tend to assess ourselves based on how productive something is or how quote unquote.
Well we did at it. Right. Was it good? Was it bad? Was it enough? Was it not enough? Right. Very linear, very kind of a masculine lens of judgment, but what if we just opened up and. We did really good at something. If we had fun while doing it, what if joy became our measurement? What if I’m allowed to sing?
Because it makes me happy. And what if, how happy it made me is whether or not it was good. Let that bake your noodle for a minute. What if we started implementing a metric that said something is good, pure, right. Holy and wonderful. If we experienced joy while doing it, regardless of what it produces or its utility for ourselves or other people, what if the utility of it was just the fun of it?
Isn’t that a wonderful thing to think. Isn’t that a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful way of being makes me wanna cry. Right. So how touching is that? That we can say, you know what I believe in me because I love this thing. I love it. I might not be good at. But that doesn’t matter. I love this thing and I’m endeavoring to grow every day.
I’m improving every day. I’m refusing to quit. I’m allowing myself to be in the world and to take up space because I choose to be because I’m the one who says, so I’m giving myself time. I’m throwing out my expectations out the window, and I’m just here allowing myself to grow. Understanding that I’m gonna find mastery along the way.
And I am so proud of that, that I’m giving myself permission to do that. And I’m so proud of other people who are being courageous in that way too. And I want to love and support every person who is doing that. And I want to love and support every person who isn’t doing that too. I just want people who aren’t to get the hell away from me because
Because I know that if I’m around people like that, it’s gonna pull me down. Right. So what is that? There’s an old Southern saying, if you lay down with dogs, you’re gonna get up with fleas, right? It’s not that I don’t love people it’s that I know myself. And I know that if I surround myself by people who aren’t endeavoring greatly, eventually I’m gonna not endeavor greatly because that’s gonna become my reality because I’m just choosing to allow people who don’t wanna endeavor greatly to be around me.
I cannot permit that. That cannot be permitted. And here’s another thing too. I don’t have to kick anybody out. Everybody’s welcome. But people who wanna play small are not gonna wanna be around me. It’s gonna bother them because they’re gonna be constantly reminded while they’re in my presence of the fact that they’re not endeavoring greatly and it’s gonna make ’em uncomfortable and they’re going to see themselves out and that’s okay.
I just need to be okay with people seeing themselves out. I don’t have to throw anybody out. That’s not how this works. They’ll just see themselves out. So I know that this is, I’m giving you guys a lot of information here, but there’s a lot of, you know, kind of nuggets in this that will help you. It’s an attitude.
It’s a way of being in the world to believe in yourself. It’s an embodied way of being okay. And it is so like, especially for women, it is really kind of like, When you meet a woman who’s really walking in self-belief, you know it, you know, and I learned this in graduate school. Everybody says they wanna be around empowered women, but I’m not really sure how many people are actually able to handle it.
because, you know, when you are walking in that space, like you get a lot of judgment, but you also get a lot of people who admire it and think it are awesome too. So we just have to be okay with that. We have to be okay with staying in our lane, doing our thing, loving everybody up, believing in ourself.
And giving ourselves permission to grow and, you know, just do our thing in the. That is a wrap for today’s show. Thank you from the bottom of my feels for showing up today in your power and in your willingness to let your intuitive self lead. And if you are still working your way to your first 50 to 100 K in your coaching practice, I have two incredible free resources to help you fast pass.
This process, the first is to join our free and fun Facebook group. The Atmana intuitive coach collective, where myself and our Atmana instructors do free trainings every week. To help you turn your obstacles into opportunities with each and every step you take. So that you can begin to achieve success on your own terms and finally make the money that you know, you deserve.
So if you’re interested in joining our group, just pop onto Facebook and you can search bar Atmana, intuitive coach collective, and we will pop up. Or you can check our show notes for a link. And the second resource is a V I P ticket to our next upcoming five day workshop experience. Live your purpose, launch your practice, where you are going to learn four keys to claiming your intuitive confidence.
Calling in clients with authenticity and integrity. And then you’re gonna create your very first or one of many signature programs that help you sell your services with ease and grace. That also helps you go high ticket. So head on over to HeatherAliceshea.com/intuitive. Launch to get your V I P ticket, or you can check the show notes where you can get your hot little hands on a link to both the Facebook group and the five day workshop until next time I see you.
I love you together. We rise.